she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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