I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
