Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
