I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
