Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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