In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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