I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
