I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
