addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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