I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no you cant smoke seaweed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
