I think I am morally bankrupt
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
