i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
