I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
