Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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