I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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