Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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