she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
