So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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