making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
