was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
