covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize