Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
