but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
