Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
