I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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