i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
whose ass print is on the piano?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
