i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
