Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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