my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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