I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
