these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize