My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
