if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
