I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
