My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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