WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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