My liver just broke up with me...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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