marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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