I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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