I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
