I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
