I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think a kid would responsible me up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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