You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
