He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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