If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
