Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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