Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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