Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
