areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize