someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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