Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
honey bunches of taint.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
