Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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