i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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