yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
