Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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