He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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