Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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