so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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