So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize