The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
