I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My vagina is very pro this idea
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
