Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
